Cheating wives and husband who’ve gone online to search for a partner to flirt with – or to have an affair with – have been warned their search might not be private after all…
Yes, you can still delete the search history on the family computer. But, a report in The Sunday Times claims some sites will actually alert all your friends and family on Facebook that you have gone on the site.
The article cites Badoo.com, a dating website it claims is known for casual encounters because it encourages users to ‘chat, flirt, meet up and have fun.’
At Badoo you do not have to join – all you have to do is input your email address and Badoo will automatically inform friends you are on there.
Trainee Solicitor Will, 29, told how he was embarrassed the site told his contacts he was a member. He signed up a while ago when it was billed as the ‘new Facebook’ but then forgot about it. But recently he received a call from his girlfriend asking why he was on it – and shocked that he was.
Another person recalls how he discovered his girlfriend had joined when the site sent a automated message to his work email inviting him to join her. He then created a fake profile on the site and she began talking to him. She said she was single and gave a new phone number she had. He later confronted her…
The Sunday Times article reveals a recent poll of 85,000 Badoo members revealed 59% had met someone they first contacted via the site and 30% admit they met for sex.
And a 2009 study ranked Badoo out of 45 social websites as the worse for privacy. It scored 23% while LinkedIn scored 70% and Facebook 53%.
The report adds Badoo profiles come up in Google searches so without signing in you can see a photo of someone who might be advertising for ‘no strings sex.’
However, one consultant who specialises in online dating says Badoo’s relaxed approach to privacy is the way social media sites are going. “One of the features of dating sites has always been privacy,” he says, “but there are advantages to people knowing who you are. The best way to meet people is through friends of friends – social dating – and that is what Badoo is trying to emulate.”
Meanwhile, Badoo says members can adjust their privacy settings accordingly and says it is not a site promoting sexual encounters. “We are not pretending that the sexual element does not exist; we are a meeting network for adults and their interactions reflect human behaviour in real life.”
Have you ever cheated using a dating website? Or perhaps your spouse had an affair with someone he or she met on a flirting website? If you have an adultery or infidelity story to sell, let us know here: Cheating website story
Despite numerous books and articles giving tips on how to maintain a healthy long-term relationship, cheating statistics continue to grow and throughout the world infidelity is a major reason for divorce. So why when couples know how hurtful cheating is, does it still go on so much? And are men really the most guilty ones?
So why do people cheat on their partners?
Different people have different reasons for cheating. Psychologists believe some people are unsuited to monogamy and our society frowns upon polygamy – resulting in cheating. Some people have mismatched sex drives that can end up in one half of the relationship seeking satisfaction elsewere. But two reasons are probably the most common and logical…
The first is probably the most widespread and promotes the idea that people involved into extramarital affairs just don’t work at their relationships and miss something very important. The spark of those first bright feelings fade so fast and trying to fill the void left results in one half of the relationship looking for those same emotions with someone else who seems to treat them better than their current partner.
The second explanation runs about the human nature and the polygamy theory. This rejects the reasons that people usually give to justify cheating and digs deeper into our subconscious and initial instincts. These include the theory (or excuse) that some men give – they naturally want to spread their seed and impregnate as many women as possible.
Online dating network Yangutu.com recently conducted a study with 11,000 men and 11,000 women to find out what reasons for cheating are.
According to the poll it was found that about 70% of women consider men are the more experienced cheaters. But the actual results went against this common opinion. 57% of male participants confessed in being engaged in extramarital affairs at least once in their life, 25% of men said they hadn’t cheated but wouldn’t rule it out for the future. And 18% of men say they have never cheated and never would do.
Of the women, a surprising 52% confessed they had also cheated! Therefore, according to the study, more than half of women have sought intimacy outside their long-term relationships ruining the theory that cheating is vastly more rife in males than females.
The study also asked participants ‘which reason that causes infidelity do you consider the most important?’ 69% of all participants cited the lack of emotional attachment between partners as the most common reason to go off with someone else, with only 22% considering polygamy natural.
So, why are so many people ready to sacrifice their relationships for the sake of short-lived pleasure? In many cases the simple answer is that nowadays people tend to value their careers, children, friends and occupations much more than the relationship with their life partners. When not satisfied with something it is far easier to look for something (or someone) new than try to fix what we already have.
Emotional Vs Physical…
So what does infidelity mean for men and women – is cheating just about physical sex?
The survey asked participants what form of cheating they considered to be the worst. 77% of women said that emotional affairs are the most destructive form of affairs whereas an overwhelming 89% of men said that sex with another person is the most disgusting form of cheating. Showing that men and women react to physical and emotional infidelity in totally different ways.
So one thing that may seem innocent to a man – forming a deep emotional relationship with another woman – could also be seen as an affair.
The survey concludes the key to happiness – and not cheating – is to pay attention to your partner. It’s all too easy with the demands of a career, children and friends not to cherish your relationship. But the poll concluded these are the basic rules for a faithful couple.
Has your partner ever been unfaithful? Did your husband turn out to be a love rat? Or have you been a mistress? If you have a cheating story to tell, let us know here: My cheating story
And let us know why you think men and women cheat below…
Name and shame story about how Vanessa Finn got revenge on her cheating husband appears in PICK ME UP magazine this week.
One of the bonuses of selling your story through a media agent is that one week your story can appear in the Daily Mail newspaper and then it can be printed (with an interviewee’s permission) in a totally different way in a women’s magazine.
Regular readers might recall Vanessa’s story in the Daily Mail in December. Then she told how for eighteen years she was a supportive army wife. She believed she and husband Alan Finn, were happy. But then he confessed he was having an affair. Worse, he changed his army status to ‘single’. This meant as he no longer qualified for married quarters, Vanessa and their two daughters had to leave their home within 93 days.
She didn’t leave fast enough and was fined by the Ministry of Defence for trespass and cleaning.
Following the news story in the Daily Mail, I was contacted by a number of women’s magazines who wanted to know if Vanessa would like to do a follow-up story.
And today her story about what has happened since – including how she got revenge on his mistress, Lesley Murphy, is recounted in Pick me Up magazine. There Vanessa’s story goes over two pages. It was also made the front page of this well-read women’s mag.
Vanessa says: “Getting my story off my chest and telling the truth about what happened in both a national newspaper and a women’s magazine, has made me feel much more confident. In fact, it’s been a liberating experience and I am so glad I did it. I now feel able to put this behind me and carry on with the rest of my life.”
If you have story to sell about a cheating husband or partner then do get in touch and see how selling your story could put you back in control of your life. Email me here: Sell my story
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