MALE PERSPECTIVE: Why do men – and women – cheat?Posted: November 23, 2011
Despite numerous books and articles giving tips on how to maintain a healthy long-term relationship, cheating statistics continue to grow and throughout the world infidelity is a major reason for divorce. So why when couples know how hurtful cheating is, does it still go on so much? And are men really the most guilty ones?
So why do people cheat on their partners?
Different people have different reasons for cheating. Psychologists believe some people are unsuited to monogamy and our society frowns upon polygamy – resulting in cheating. Some people have mismatched sex drives that can end up in one half of the relationship seeking satisfaction elsewere. But two reasons are probably the most common and logical…
The first is probably the most widespread and promotes the idea that people involved into extramarital affairs just don’t work at their relationships and miss something very important. The spark of those first bright feelings fade so fast and trying to fill the void left results in one half of the relationship looking for those same emotions with someone else who seems to treat them better than their current partner.
The second explanation runs about the human nature and the polygamy theory. This rejects the reasons that people usually give to justify cheating and digs deeper into our subconscious and initial instincts. These include the theory (or excuse) that some men give – they naturally want to spread their seed and impregnate as many women as possible.
Online dating network Yangutu.com recently conducted a study with 11,000 men and 11,000 women to find out what reasons for cheating are.
According to the poll it was found that about 70% of women consider men are the more experienced cheaters. But the actual results went against this common opinion. 57% of male participants confessed in being engaged in extramarital affairs at least once in their life, 25% of men said they hadn’t cheated but wouldn’t rule it out for the future. And 18% of men say they have never cheated and never would do.
Of the women, a surprising 52% confessed they had also cheated! Therefore, according to the study, more than half of women have sought intimacy outside their long-term relationships ruining the theory that cheating is vastly more rife in males than females.
The study also asked participants ‘which reason that causes infidelity do you consider the most important?’ 69% of all participants cited the lack of emotional attachment between partners as the most common reason to go off with someone else, with only 22% considering polygamy natural.
So, why are so many people ready to sacrifice their relationships for the sake of short-lived pleasure? In many cases the simple answer is that nowadays people tend to value their careers, children, friends and occupations much more than the relationship with their life partners. When not satisfied with something it is far easier to look for something (or someone) new than try to fix what we already have.
Emotional Vs Physical…
So what does infidelity mean for men and women – is cheating just about physical sex?
The survey asked participants what form of cheating they considered to be the worst. 77% of women said that emotional affairs are the most destructive form of affairs whereas an overwhelming 89% of men said that sex with another person is the most disgusting form of cheating. Showing that men and women react to physical and emotional infidelity in totally different ways.
So one thing that may seem innocent to a man – forming a deep emotional relationship with another woman – could also be seen as an affair.
The survey concludes the key to happiness – and not cheating – is to pay attention to your partner. It’s all too easy with the demands of a career, children and friends not to cherish your relationship. But the poll concluded these are the basic rules for a faithful couple.
Has your partner ever been unfaithful? Did your husband turn out to be a love rat? Or have you been a mistress? If you have a cheating story to tell, let us know here: My cheating story
And let us know why you think men and women cheat below…