Aborting my Down’s Syndrome baby ruined my life – Daily MailPosted: October 27, 2011
Sometimes – especially if you have already tried every avenue – the only way to bring closure to a terrible experience is to go to the press. This was the situation Marie Ideson found herself in. Six years ago Marie was told she was having a Down’s Syndrome baby. And believing at the time it was for the best – and with what she now describes as terrible pressure from medical staff not to go ahead with the pregnancy – she opted for a termination.
As soon as she took the first pill towards having her abortion, she regretted what she was doing. And three days later when she returned to the hospital to finish the termination, she was devastated.
Ever since then, Marie has bitterly regretted going through the termination and simply couldn’t get it out of her mind. Unfortunately, it caused a huge rift with her husband. While she knew he too had been devastated by what had happened, she couldn’t help but blame him for letting her go ahead with it. She says she was so shocked and hospital staff railroaded her into having an abortion that he should have realised and stepped in.
Sadly this issue kept on raising itself and their once happy marriage was destroyed by rows. The couple even had another baby – this time a healthy baby boy – and both of them hoped he would help mend their relationship. But it wasn’t to be.
Marie tried to take legal action against the NHS hospital that did the termination. When she had her amnio – a test to see if her baby had Down’s Syndrome – she believed it was to prepare her for having a child with Down’s Syndrome. She thought if the test were positive it would help give her time to prepare and help medical staff also prepare for any treatment her baby might need.
She did not expect, she says, to be told by the consultant and a nurse that she should have a termination because her child could otherwise be a ‘burden’ on society. In fact Marie and her husband spent thousands of pounds on legal fees – it wasn’t about the money but Marie wanted the medical staff to examine their procedures. She felt she’d been rushed into having a termination and didn’t want the same thing to happen to another mum.
But legal action proved too expensive and eventually due to the strain Marie and her husband broke up. Since then Marie has simply not been able to come to terms with what happened. And this is why she came via my sell my story website Featureworld to get her story out there.
She says: “Doing this feature has helped bring closure and I am really thankful to Alison and The Daily Mail for enabling me to have my say. Whether people agree doesn’t matter – I wanted to open up a public debate about whether pregnant women are railroaded by medical staff into having a termination. No-one once said to me, well you could always keep your baby. So It was simply a question of getting this experience into the public eye. If it helps one woman facing what I did to consider all the consequences, then it will be worthwhile.”
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